Wanting To Show Our Independence

You have been taught that independence is power. You seek to wield that power as an indication of your achievement. You, then, find yourself justifying your choices with apologies to those who counted on you.

The motivation to set yourself apart can, unchecked, isolate you from community. Wanting to set yourself apart can also motivate you toward sustainable contributions to the community. Your uniqueness can steel you to the deceptions to which others fall prey. You can think beyond the current moment to see our common future.

Independence, in truth, is recognition of the power you have even in the absence of titles, positions, and hierarchy. It is the discipline to utilize power with purpose, always having a reasoned approach to action. It is determining the wise course by whether it achieves a collective vision and satisfies a consensus need.

You must learn to distinguish between those that can be trusted and those who cannot. It is true that you are powerful. The promise of community is that other lights combined with yours can illuminate a brighter future. This requires risk. But, this risk is not blind. Those who will combine with you in community will complement your contribution and demonstrate discipline just as you must.

As comfortable and safe as it is to believe the contrary, you are not alone in your quest to succeed. But, this does not diminish the fact that each choice is ultimately yours to make. The risks and investments are yours to live with. You hold responsibility for your choices, but your freedom to make those choices is in the context of a larger community. Purpose gives power. Discipline is power. When we move, let us move together.

Wanting To Have an Answer Now

You have been taught that the process requires patience. You wait until you are unable to sit any longer. You, then, make decisions of convenience in the context of your current knowledge motivated by your immediate desires.

Your desire for a quick answer can seduce you into short cuts and suspect relationships. That same desire is a thirst for knowledge that keeps you searching, learning, and developing for a lifetime. Use that desire to motivate a determination toward preparedness.

Patience in the process, in truth, is an opportunity to work through the deficiencies you have. Practice a determined meditation—calm your anxiety through careful consideration of the inputs, the process, and potential consequences. Gain new knowledge through observation and reading. Focus on a state of being prepared. Become clearly aware of the opportunities around you. In time, sustainable use of process results in your ability to create your own opportunities.

It is not imperative that you know the master plan. You only have to be clear on your role and your next step. You will not achieve success without the process. Enjoy the process rather than wasting time trying to circumvent it or agonizing over the fact that the destination is unclear to you. Take pride in identifying your individual role and our collective responsibility. Be ready!

Redefining Process, Independence, Rightness, and Self (2 of 2)

You have been taught that the process requires patience. You wait until you are unable to sit any longer, and you make decisions of convenience in the context of your current knowledge. Process, in truth, is an opportunity to work through the deficiencies you have. You are both better prepared and more clearly aware of the opportunities around you. Sustainable use of process results in your ability to create your own opportunities.

You have been taught that independence is power. You seek to wield that power as an indication of your achievement. Independence, in truth, is recognition of the power you have even in the absence of titles, positions, and hierarchy. It is the discipline to utilize power with purpose, always having a reasoned approach to action.

You have been taught that rightness is a settled question. You do not take time to discuss the questions at hand. In this way, you have no responsibility for inconsistencies. Rightness, in truth, is a social construction rooted in the norms of the group. The discussion of rightness is a discussion of sustainability and the long-term responsibility we all assume for the decisions we make today.

You have been taught that you are singularly unique and required to strive toward perfection. You adopt approaches to the perfection question that either perpetuate a cycle of poor mental health, failed relationships, or both. You, in truth, reach perfection in the context of others. Discerning in the context of uncertainty and difference among the multitude of “good” options, that is the peak of human experience.

Overcoming rationalization is overcoming the willful misinterpretation of process, independence, rightness, and yourself. Choose sustainability. Produce with the consequence of interrelated community.

Redefining Process, Independence, Rightness, and Self (1 of 2)

I do not know exactly what you were born into, but I do know for certain that what you are today, right now, is not comparable in achievement and acclaim to what will be your success. How can I be so certain? I am certain because a disciplined approach to any endeavor will yield results. A sustained contribution to your own success will free you from any deficiencies that present themselves as fears. Your deficiencies only outline the primary learning and relationships required for your success.

Your powers of intellect can be used against you. Pride can push you toward your own destruction. You must dispel the thought that you can achieve success on your own—that you are smarter or stronger than others only due to your uniqueness. Do not reason that, in yourself alone, you are wise.

The most dangerous deception is the deception you perpetrate on yourself. Once you have begun to believe without hope of contradiction that your actions are honorable, you are most dangerous. Outside counsel is shrugged off. Voices from multiple sources and perspectives are disregarded. With fervor and passion, you do what you have purposed in your heart. Regardless of the lack of sustainability and consequences of your action, you refuse to discern the deception.

More than a few methods exist in preparation for our self-deceit. As with other deceptions, they appear on the surface as desirable traits. Yet, without the principles of individual role definition combined with responsibility to community, desirable traits become seducers toward quick fixes and unsustainable gratification.

Notice the central deception in rationalization, your desire to achieve success through unsustainable means, a short-term view of process, independence, rightness, and yourself.

Deceptions Case Study 3 of 3

The ancient text continues the story of Eve and the serpent. Eve’s deception could not be completed without a lie. Yet, the lie was not told by the serpent in the story. The lie was formulated in the perception Eve had of her opportunity to become to self-actualize. In the story, Eve, just after explaining what directions she was given, studied the tree. She evaluated the fruit. In her estimation, it was appetizing and attractive. When Eve began to rationalize, she was no doubt aware of the command given to her husband by the god. “Do not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil,” was the command. The answer to the serpent’s directive to eat was an emphatic, “No!” As the conversation and Eve’s rationalization continued, the question was no longer, “Should I eat from this tree?” The question became a statement, “Becoming wise is a righteous pursuit.” She further reasoned, “A god who would keep us from being self-actualized is himself wrong. That means that anything the god commands cannot be trusted.”

The lesson to be learned from this story is well below the surface of the supposed wrong choice. Right and wrong are too dualistic to provide important lessons. Consider determining whether your actions are sustainable or unsustainable.

In the story, reason is sustainable. Perception is sustainable. It may even be sustainable to question the directives of the community that you grew up in. The deception here is the rationalization that wisdom can be gained absent from community. The need for immediate results, the desire to demonstrate independence, the disregard for process, all stem from an innate human reality. We each want to trust and to be sure that our trust is cherished.

Often, when faced with the option to trust others, your first instinct is to protect yourself. A decision to trust may result in pain, but it may also result in a success beyond what was possible for you alone. How can you distinguish between reason rooted in community and rationalization rooted in a protectionist trust only of yourself?

Successful Counterfeit: Revelrous

Successful refers to a characteristic experience of achievement. Maslow described this character as “peak experiences.” He talked about individuals who were able to seize opportunities to see themselves as small pieces of a larger puzzle. To Maslow’s observations, I add the idea of small successes in the context of self-motivation.

Peak experiences are not always the completion of a goal. Small successes admonish you to look for the consistent and sustainable path. Success is not only in the destination, it is in the day-to-day approach toward goals.

The counterfeit of successful is revelrous—a life characterized by revelry. As a revelrous individual, you are characterized by highs and lows that threaten your consistency and sap your motivation. When you complete a task, you consider it an end, and celebrate disregarding the road still ahead. When you fail at a task, you fall into a funk, questioning the path you began.

People often see you as a rollercoaster of emotion. Because you put neither achievements nor failures in the context of a larger puzzle, you resort to the extreme reactions of what you think others expect. Your individual relationships are superficial because you are incapable of sharing your fit with others. The group subjugates you to either being the cheerleader or the voice of realism. Neither role is crucial to the team.

To be truly successful, you will see your gifts in the context of the abilities of others and the opportunities of the environment. As a successful individual, you realize that small successes build toward larger successes. This awareness keeps you internally encouraged and building. An awareness of the road ahead tempers your enthusiasm in order to stoke your endurance toward the completion of more challenging goals.

Creative Counterfeit: Indecisive

Creative is a character that brings together form and art to create. Maslow also used the term creative. Creative characters, according to Maslow, were inventive and original. I add an emphasis on the process of creativity to the definition. Creative characters combine a search for knowledge with a respect for the empowerment of self-reflection.

The counterfeit of creative is indecisive. As an indecisive individual, you rely on external pressures or uncertainty to determine projects or goals. It is indecisive because you do not take responsibility for the process. You rationalize that if you wait until the last minute, you always have an excuse for why the product is not perfect. This also makes it impossible for you to work with others.

You want others to see you as original, but you take your cues from the pressure rather than from a careful meditation on form and art. You are often heard to say, “I put that together at the last minute” or “I do my best work under pressure.” This is only half true. You do perform at the last minute, but you fail to take the time to consider the quality of the work that could have been created over a longer period of time.

To be truly creative you will build each product as an exercise in knowledge gathering and self-reflection. Rather than last minute excuses, you will stand behind the work that you produce. You will challenge yourself to learn more about the craft and the methods of your expertise. You will reflect on what you have learned and place it in the context of who you are and the contribution that you would like to make to the world around you.

Inspired Counterfeit: Punctilious

Inspired is a character that explores origins, present realities, and potential futures. Maslow used the phrase “freshness of appreciation” to describe this character. He explained that this character possessed the ability to see things (even small things) with a sense of wonder. I add that this sense of wonder motivates action and offsets fear.

The counterfeit of inspired is punctilious. As a punctilious character, you attend to the form requirements of behavior without an intrinsic connection to people. Your individual relationships are often awkward to onlookers with inappropriate intimacy for the relationship at hand. In the group, you often trade in humor and feigned concern in an attempt to show yourself to be caring as opposed to cold and singularly focused on the set agenda.

You want people to see you as interested in them and engaged. On closer inspection, you are just going through the motions of polite interaction. You interest does not extend beyond the formalities of human contact. Your focus is the agenda you adopted in order to maintain your safety in the presence of multiple points of view. You cannot take the time to consider the value of the other’s contribution. Exploring beyond your agenda is to risk too much.

To be truly inspired is to recognize the value of diverse contributions and the opportunity represented by collaboration. Inspiration is not only the reality that you are not alone. It is the realization that the process of human interaction yields exponential returns. The commonalities and differences found between us lessen the load and create opportunities that were impossible for you to conceive of by yourself. The more people we invite to the table, the more possibilities avail themselves…if you engage.

Authentic Counterfeit: Arrogant

Authentic is characterized by a well-defined identity and role in environment. Maslow termed this spontaneity and simplicity. He explained that this character preferred being themselves rather than being pretentious. I clarify this language to place it squarely in the context of research on identity formation and social role definition.

The counterfeit of authentic is arrogant. As an arrogant individual, you lack a sense of self in the context of others. You seek to define yourself as separate from others. In this way, you do not have to evaluate the ethics or congruence of walking the talk. You self-protect in the group by thinking yourself smarter than the others. Rather than seeing this as an opportunity to share your knowledge, you decide that only you can understand.

You want people to see you as self-confident. But, we soon realize that you have little awareness of others. Your contribution is not to the group. It is simply an attempt to reject your feelings of loneliness. You often say, “I could explain it, but they will not understand.” Rather than recognizing your deficit in communication, you adopt the view that you are superior and therefore exempt from any collective social definition of self.

To be truly authentic, you embrace both your strengths and your weaknesses. You realize that who you are is only partly defined by what you know and who you know. Your social role is also important. Social role is what you contribute to the group. Authenticity is commitment to the requirements of your contribution and consistent participation in the discourse.

Tolerant Counterfeit: Superficial

Tolerant is a character marked by acceptance of self and others just as Maslow communicated. To this, I add that this character allows you to change your definition of self and grow over time. This character is also marked by the ability to risk. Being wrong or unpopular is an acceptable risk if it brings others into the interaction.

The counterfeit of tolerant is superficial. As a superficial character, you lack the engagement that enables true analysis of yourself and objective evaluation of others. You miss opportunities to challenge yourself to be better. You allow others to be mediocre rather than point out failures because blindness to their failure enables blindness to your own ineptitude.

You think that to be totally accepting or to be intolerant are the only choices. You are often heard saying, “To each his own,” or “As long as it doesn’t affect me.” You miss opportunities to grow yourself and participate in the growth of others because you never risk being wrong—on the unpopular side of what is “polite” or “considerate.”

To be truly tolerant, you engage. Your interaction is less about determining right and wrong, and more about supporting the idea that growth and change is possible. Discussions of growth and change, when first applied to you, can yield new insights into how we all might work together toward success. Just because you believed yourself to be something last year, does not mean that new information cannot inform a new belief this year. You apply this allowance to yourself, and risk that others will not agree.

Amicable Counterfeit: Patronizing

Amicable describes a character with a sense of humor that engages others. Maslow termed this sense of humor as “unhostile.” He sought to describe a character that prefers to joke at his expense rather than embarrassing others. I only simplify Maslow’s phrase to one word: amicable.

The counterfeit of amicable is patronizing. As a patronizing individual, you get the mechanics of self-effacing, but you always seek to be the center of attention—as if to be lauded for your humility. Your attempts at humor begin with jokes about yourself, but end with backhanded compliments directed at others. In groups, you promote your status as the alpha leader with condescension that diminishes the contributions of others while appearing to encourage them. You are fond of saying, “That’s not your strong suit. You should do this instead.”

It is often obvious that you are trying to be funny. Your attempts are flawed because your humor is not participatory. Your intention is to appear down-to-earth and approachable, but interactions often end with the revelation of your character as insecure and condescending.

To be truly amicable is to be able to laugh at yourself, to find humor in the human condition. Your humor invites others to participate and take themselves less seriously. You have the ability to support humor in humorous instances rather than forcing humor into serious conversations. Individuals leave your presence with a strong sense of the humor in life rather than a sense of you as the comedian.

Intimate Counterfeit: Indulgent

Maslow discussed “intimate personal relations” as a character that values closeness to fewer friends rather than shallow relationships with many. I focus on the intimacy term in Maslow’s phrase to isolate and expand on the deep trust relationship that it describes.

The counterfeit of intimate is indulgent. As an indulgent character, you offer too much of yourself. You are unaware of the full set of options that communicate and sustain intimacy. Often, you have problems with sexualizing individual relationships with interactions that misrepresent trust. In groups, you tend toward discussions that are too personal, revealing information that most feel should be kept private.

You want people to perceive you as engaged and engaging, but you perceive a false duality. You think that the only options are to be an open book with no secrets or to be a stuffy social derelict. Trust is thwarted because the core of your interaction is to fulfill your own emptiness. It is more precise to term your behavior as chatty. You often lack appropriate boundaries to the point of over sharing.

To be truly intimate is to engage seeking a deeper knowledge of the choice behavior of others. A genuine interest in why people do the things they do. Intimacy involves less talking and more listening. Truly intimate relationships take many forms based in conversations in which an understanding of the other is increased. Intimacy is not just sex. In fact, true intimacy does not have to be related to sexuality or discussed in sexual terms.

Compassionate Counterfeit: Histrionic

Maslow used the term Gemeinschaftsgefühl to describe a character encompassing social interest, compassion, and humanity. I interpret the term and recast the character as compassionate. This term focuses on the commitment to work collaboratively to achieve shared outcomes.

The counterfeit of compassionate is histrionic. As a histrionic character, you have a superficial concern for others that wanes with time. You are initially perceived as caring, but you soon appear melodramatic.

Your interpersonal interactions, over time, are revealed as performances. You often give away your drama soon after interactions. You often reveal to supposed friends who are left to wonder if your interactions with them are as lacking as your interactions with others. In the group, you push an agenda that seems centered in concern for a population. But, your concern is not consistent in addressing all areas of concern. You refuse to commit yourself personally to ensuring the wellbeing of the population (or the group for that matter). This reveals that you only seek to use the “concern” to forward your own agenda at the expense of the population and the group.

To be truly compassionate, you represent a character of collaboration toward the greater good. Your commitment is demonstrated in your engagement in the discussion of shared outcomes as well as some measure of personal sacrifice. You commit to being an active agent in solutions. You maintain this commitment by continuing the conversation, nurturing the collaboration.

Culturally Competent Counterfeit: Disengaged

Cultural Competence is rooted in appreciation of difference. Maslow described this character as “democratic values.” He sought to describe individuals who possessed openness to ethnic and individual variety.

I reinterpret Maslow’s observations, and rename this character cultural competence. Cultural competence maintains the openness to difference and adds an intentional support of complementary relationships. In addition to valuing the contributions of others, cultural competence presupposes an awareness of the deficits in yourself and the deficits in those you would collaborate with.

The counterfeit of cultural competence is the disengaged character. As a disengaged individual, you lack a connection between your deficits and abilities and the deficits and abilities of the other. You are not interested enough in the other to explore mutual benefit that can result in increased capacity for the other. Often, your calculation is a one-sided recognition of what the other can provide to you. You expect that the other should be happy to be included in your plans. Without an open discussion of needs and contributions clearly shared among the group, you diminish the practical incentives toward collaboration. When participants voice deficit needs, you rethink the wisdom of the collaboration and may seek separation.

People initially see you as a ready collaborator and a gracious host. But, your true character is displayed when your goals are threatened by the deficits of the others. You begin to question the collaboration and the commitment of the others. You state, “I tried to include them, but it didn’t work out.” You have nothing but “good” things to say about failed collaborators, but the compliments are back-handed and evidence your disengagement more than the failures of the other.

To be truly culturally competent is to realize that partnership is a sharing of destiny and history. The vigor and interest typically experienced in the initial convening activity should include assessment of deficits and historical development in addition to the goals of the current collaboration.

Realize that the other may not be aware of the deficits and solutions. Your commitment in collaboration is to contribute to solutions by informing yourself of the needs of the other and maintaining reflectiveness about how you advanced to the position you currently inhabit.

An opportunity exists for you and me to help each other achieve. We can help each other identify deficits and solutions that we would not have identified in isolation and could not have solved alone.

Unique Counterfeit: Contradictory

Unique is a reasoned individual contribution in the context of the larger culture. Maslow states that these individuals resisted enculturation. In clarifying Maslow’s meaning, I focus more on the action of the individual contribution rather than the resistance. Think first of your responsibility to yourself, then reason your contribution to society. Our collective needs and donations provide the pull and push that powers culture.

The counterfeit of uniqueness is contradictory. As a contradictory individual, you state contradictions to the brainstorms of others as the devil’s advocate. You quote common contradictions to accepted culture. You are active in your intention to present yourself as free from the influences of culture, yet your contribution is often cliché or otherwise trite. You want the group to focus on you and your supposed uniqueness, but your contradictions only serve to cause spectacle and frustrate group innovation.

You want to contribute to the group discussion, but you do not evidence the reasoning and foundation of information that would support your pretend wisdom. You possess the boldness and the agency that are characteristic of uniqueness, but you lack the thoughtfulness and the defensible knowledge base. You erroneously think that innovation means denying that the decisions of the past have worth. Because of this missed learning opportunity, you often suggest repeating past failures under new names.

To be truly unique is to actively contribute to the creation of culture with a reasoned approach to supporting or redirecting individual and collective actions. Uniqueness is based in knowledge of self, the contribution of others, the mechanism of culture, and the impact of culture on behavior. Unique individuals are able to experiment with new inputs to the mechanism and model the resultant behaviors in ways that articulate interrelatedness and options for the group.

Autonomous Counterfeit: Skeptical

Autonomous means relying on your own experiences and judgments to provide context for new information. Maslow described this quality as “independent of culture and environment.” To Maslow’s meaning, I add two concepts: reciprocity and engagement. Reciprocity joined to autonomy recognizes the give and take between the individual and the cultural environment. Engagement joined to autonomy requires you to actively seek that give and take. You cannot sustainably define yourself by the community, but it is important to realize how your environment shapes you as well as your opportunity to shape your environment.

The counterfeit of autonomy is skepticism. As a skeptical individual, you pick and choose among new information counteracting calls to personal responsibility and the duty to contribute to the common good. You often speak of “gut feelings” and anecdotal evidence that contradicts information garnered from multiple sources. Often, this character is so practiced that you are surprised when asked to produce objective evidence. You hold up confirmations with vocal wonder about the growth and learning of the other, questioning, “Is he ready for this?”

You strive to be the voice of caution—to be received as wise and self-reliant. But, your contribution to the group is only an attempt to self-aggrandize—to make yourself an authority. We may, at first, act on your slight evidence due to your insistence, but your lie will gradually be ferreted by the presentation of evidence to the contrary. What is more, your relationships with others will fail due to your refusal to take responsibility and your flippant attitude toward the group setback that your skepticism has caused.

To be truly autonomous, use your own experiences as a funnel, not a filter. Review all new information without prejudice or predilection. Recognize that your growth and learning occurs in the context of information gleaned from the culture and environment. Your decisions about action result from an objective assessment of the best route for you as individually responsible for your choices. Also insist that your success contribute to the success of the group. Realize that others are capable of similar growth and learning by information. Your question is not whether another has grown, but whether she has been informed.

Private Counterfeit: Isolated

Private is a comfort with and purposefulness in being alone. Maslow termed it “need for privacy.” To Maslow’s expression of meaning, I add the construct of self-development. Individuals enjoy a break from the expectations of other people, but the central question is in the extent to which your interactions were expressions of yourself or reflections of the expectations of others. It is important to separate yourself from community with the intent to return to community with a fresh perspective and a surer sense of self.

The counterfeit of private is isolated. As an isolated individual, you refuse to participate in social discourse that proposes to shape you and others. You may prefer to shape others only, so that you are perceived as righteous or wise. You may seek to place yourself above others clinging to a sense of safety. As a result, others in the group become guarded and the opportunity for authenticity and development is lost.

You want people to think that you are a thinker, deep in thought. But, your communications never place your perceptions on the line. You are never caught in self-introspection or doubt. You are certain of every utterance, sure of every idea, and clear about the failure of others when your ideas do not pan out. But, the group does not know you, your motivations, and your intentions. We may be tolerant while we interpret, but once we know that you never risk, we will not risk with you. Leadership or team membership is never the job of the infallible. Success follows she who develops individually and within the group.

To be truly private requires that time alone is time spent gaining self-awareness. Ask yourself the challenging questions. Do not just assume that the knee-jerk reactions you have to situations are your true response. Time away from the pressures of human interaction is opportunity to consider scenarios and different courses of action. If you were to react in a different way, what outcomes would result? Explore the options. Settle on an approach that is consistent with the person you want to be. Return to community ready to engage.

Process-centered Counterfeit: Process-focused

Process-centered is an attempt to clarify what Maslow termed a “different perception of means and ends.” With this, Maslow sought to convey contentment and valuing of the journey, in addition to the outcomes. I add that, as a process-centered individual, you maintain consistent values in regard to process and outcomes. You make choices by a consistent standard: to violate my principles on the way to achieving my goals, even altruistic goals, is unacceptable.

The counterfeit of the process-centered individual is the process-focused individual. You give attention to the process, but have limited vision and expectation that any end results from your actions. You are always doing, but never producing. As a result, the group is hindered from building on successes and learning from failures. Since you unwittingly continue in a process without outcomes, you are unable to share the how with others.

A myopic and incomplete vision causes you to continually think that success just happens, without any necessary attention beyond what you are doing right now. You are content that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. You mask your myopia in fatalism or feigned pragmatism. “If it’s God’s will,” or “I’m just enjoying what I’m doing right now,” you say. But, you have left much that was within your power undone. To others, you look like you are the picture of serenity. But, you have neglected to identify outcomes and thus the building blocks to your continual success. You remain blissfully ignorant as to whether tomorrow’s choices contradict the actions of today. Once you happen upon success, you will quiet your conscience then, conveniently forgetting the contradictions you wrought and the problems you created for me and others along your way.

To be truly process-centered, set a vision for yourself that is beyond what you can currently achieve. Plan systematically to accomplish that vision, making your expectations known. Enjoy the journey. Use both small successes and failures to clarify your expectations. Continue to develop, but also challenge yourself to learn more and take risks. The farmer who sows into the ground expects a harvest in due season. She toils not for planting, but for harvest. With each success, reap the consistency you have sown.

Problem-centered Counterfeit: Problem-focused

Problem-centered is unchanged from Maslow’s phrasing. He suggests that the problem-centered individuals believe that life demands solutions. I add that, as a problem-centered individual, you explore inconsistencies in your life and seek new knowledge with which to understand those inconsistencies.

The counterfeit is problem-focused. If you are problem-focused, you have a keen awareness of failures and shortfalls without the necessary solutions. You do not bother to seek new knowledge. You operate as if the recognition of the shortfall is the solution—a victory within itself. Being the person who predicts failure is not a productive team position. We know that failure looms. How do we, as a group, make failure less likely and success more likely?

Problem-focused, you seek to advance the false duality of perfection or imperfection. But, perfection can neither be achieved in isolation nor achieved once and for all. Perfection is a collective process. In human systems, it is incremental and multi-faceted. That means, our perfection will be the outcome of multiple solutions maintained over time. This also means that failure in one solution does not mean ultimate failure. We learn. We apply that learning to the next proposed solution. “Perfection is a myth,” you say. It is only a myth to those who fail to realize that anything worth achieving must be collectively nurtured, shared, and maintained.

Problem-centered, you address each problem as it reveals itself. You are proactive in your approach to challenges that wait on the horizon. Perfection is not a destination or an end result. You recognize that perfection is a commitment to solutions and collective activity, each of us combining our strengths to address the next challenge.

Reality-Centered Counterfeit: Insecure

Reality-centered is unchanged from Maslow’s phrasing. According to Maslow, as a reality-centered individual, you have the ability to differentiate fake from genuine. I add that you also possess the ability to identify your own giftedness and the gifts of others. You also have a keen sense of the emotional depth of others—an awareness of those who are not genuine.

The counterfeit of the reality-centered individual is the realistic individual. If you are realistic, you experience giftedness as negative competition and seek to disguise your own ambition by pointing out the ambition of others. You thereby improperly focus the attention on a false humility that serves to stifle the individual contributions of others in the group.

Insecure, you seek to deny that individual gifts are important to group success preferring rather to proffer the false duality of individuality versus collectivism. You believe that individual giftedness can only lead to conceit. You mask your own insecurity, conceit, and lack of perceived ability by expertly degrading the ideas and contributions of others. You rarely have an original idea, but you are quick to counterpoint the original ideas of another. When called on your insecurity and lack of contribution you retort, “I’m just being realistic,” or “I’m just playing devil’s advocate.” In polite company, you may be applauded for being realistic. The truth is you are a hater disguising your own reckless ambition.

To experience the genuine reality-centered characteristic, be the best you can be and allow me to be my best. Our best ideas on the same team will yield greater outcomes than my best ideas or your best ideas alone. My gift does not diminish the brilliance of your gift. If my skill set is best for the problem at hand, and I step forward, you must not stand in my way.

Characteristics of Self-Actualizers

Your miseducation through faulty, imperfect examples means that you may misinterpret and misapply certain concepts highlighted as characteristics of self-actualizers. Because you see the end results of hard work and growth choices, you mistake the appearance of success for real success. This mistake is perpetuated through imperfect examples so much so that you now define success by appearance rather than substance. These counterfeits extend to all the characteristics of self-actualizers. In an attempt to re-educate you, I have translated Maslow’s original list (1970, pp. 153-172) to reflect more contemporary language as follows: Reality-centered, Problem-centered, Process-centered, Private, Autonomous, Unique, Culturally Competent, Compassionate, Intimate, Amicable, Tolerant, Authentic, Inspired, Creative, and Successful. Let us discuss the counterfeits that may perpetuate your deception.

The deception detailed in this section is termed “counterfeiting.” Counterfeits are not opposites of the character traits of self-actualizers. They are words that have become synonymous with the character traits, but whose practice outside of the values of individual responsibility and promotion of community yield unsustainable results. Let us explore each characteristic and its counterfeit.

Deceptions Case Study: 2 of 3

The ancient text continues the story of Eve and the Serpent. Eve has been redirected from seeing her existence as freedom toward perceiving her choices to be limited. Eve stands explaining what the god had instructed her and Adam, “If we do not follow these instructions, we will die.” The serpent says to Eve in effect, “You will not die. You will be free.” The serpent did not lie to her. He told her a truth that matched with her current understanding of the question at hand. Eve was already in an erroneous thought pattern, seeking a freedom she already possessed. Her current thought pattern meant that she would discount the genuine article of freedom even as she was presented with it. Eve could no longer distinguish between freedom and bondage. The instructions given by the god ensured a life of freedom. Eve was already experiencing its death.

You naturally want to be self-actualized. According to Maslow (1993), the self-actualized individual exhibits concentration, growth choice, self-awareness, honesty, judgment, self-development, peak experiences, and lack of ego defenses (1993, the Farther Reaches of Human Nature). Even if you have learned to exhibit the above toward role development and investment, a central question remains. Do you know genuine freedom when you experience it?

Invest Positive Competition not Negative Competition

From an early age, you have always wanted to win. Your life experiences have changed your expectations and your habits toward winning. But, your default response to competition has stayed the same. You often speak about “proving her wrong.” You are happy to rebut, “He does not know me. I am capable of much more.”

I am asking you to change your definition of winning. Winning is bringing out the best in others. The best way to do that is to be your best, every moment, every task. You must also change your approach to competition. You are not competing in order to have what I have or to be like her. You are competing in order to bring out the best in you, me, and her. Competition, used wisely, is a complement to internal motivation. The result is your second wind—the ability to achieve beyond what you could do alone.

Definitions of winning and competition are not the most important change I want you to make. Most importantly, I want you to recapture the expectation that you will win. Disappointments and obstacles have contributed to a personality of individualism, habits of isolation, and motivation steeped in negative competition. You have a choice. Consider that collective activities do exist, interactions can be supportive, and competition can be positive.

Collective activities are tasks that you can share with others. You have been told that true expertise knows without any prompting. This is only partly true. Expertise knows, but the development of expertise is often a function of like-minded people collectively sharing ideas and tasks. It is in the brainstorming and the doing that new methods take shape.

Vygotsky suggested that we become ourselves through others. This is true in your traditional supportive interactions, but also in your antagonistic relationships. The key observation is your reaction to the other. Others can motivate you to prove them, but the interaction may also provide an important reminder to pause and consider your actions, thoughts, and meaning making.

Positive competition is born out of the reality experienced when you are at your best. Collaboration is not just working together on a specific shared goal. It is sharing a goal. The enemy you and your foes have in common is failure. See that the competition that you may have resented is nothing more than an expression of respect. The others who you have assessed to be preoccupied with you are really targeting their own fears No competitor worries about the opposition that has no momentum. As you move from potential to momentum, you will realize greater competition. Continue with purpose and the knowledge that each stride you take encourages the other. Each advance of the other signals motivation to you. Undergirding the competition is the certainty of reward. No other can wrest your trophy. Because of your disappointments and obstacles, you have fashioned an expertise that is uniquely yours. The product you will distribute, if it is truly your product, cannot be duplicated by any other.

Invest Engagement not Stress

Let me clear up a misconception for you. Stress is not a noun. It is a verb. People, situations, deadlines, challenges are all stressors, but stress is what you do when faced with a stressor. Stress is your reaction. Through your actions in response to stressors you have often said, “I’m going to stress.” But, what will you do next time? “I’ll stress then too.” But, we need to do something. “Well, I’m stressing!”

When you are faced with obstacles, uncertainty, or pressures, your body naturally responds. If the stressor is intense enough, adrenaline starts to flow. This hormone may give you the sensation of nervousness offering the classic fight or flight option. When your and my success is on the line, I say engage. Rather than run from the challenge, engage in the new experience. Collect yourself. Learn about the challenge. Connect with your support system. Set your goals. This outline is the process of engagement.

The biological reaction you display in response to stressors gives you the ability to do things both physically and mentally that may have been difficult without it. Your endurance is heightened. Your mental acuity increases. You may have only experienced this in response to tight deadlines. You have come to believe that it is the pressure that makes you great. You say, “I do my best work under pressure.” Foolishness! If you can do good work at the last minute, imagine the great work you can do with more time. The outline for great work is simple: Collect yourself, Learn, Connect, and Set Goals.


Collect Yourself. The key is discipline—to engage that biological reaction on demand. You must see the outline for greatness and turn stressors into waypoints. This is collecting yourself. Bring your biological functions into submission to your will.

Learn. Gather the information you need in order to understand the work. Talk to others about their experience with similar challenges. Review what approaches make sense to you.

Connect. The single most predictive characteristic of success is support. Build a system of support that fits for the work at hand. Always rely on your mentor. Also, engage content experts and consultants.

Set Goals. Now that you know what you are working with, list goals that are unique to you. Being realistic is important, but not as important as reflecting you in the work. Challenge yourself and recognize the power of building incrementally toward larger goals. Plan in the context of the time you have and the eventual benefit expected.

Invest Risk not Self-Protection

Risk is not the opposite of self-protection. Risk is more precisely defined economically and socially as the expectation of reward. Work is required if you are to expect a reward. When I say to you, “Higher risk. Higher reward,” I am challenging you to work with purpose and expectation, not just blindly trusting in something you know nothing about. But, risk is related to self-protection, because your resistance to my challenge is based in your inability to see a reward resulting from your work. You believe it is better to be safe and unfulfilled rather than to risk. Let me be the first to enlighten you: Your inability to see a reward resulting from your work is an indication that you need more information. Investigate work that produces rewards. You set the limit and the definition of your success.

Risk begins with you. I am not asking you to push beyond what you can handle. I am asking you to push beyond what is comfortable and safe for you. Not to trust blindly, but to research the opportunities and create a plan of action. The right risk will be natural to you. It is your gift. Feed it with more information. Learn about it.
Know the odds. Inform yourself about the markets that you may explore. If you are selling goods, you need ready buyers. If you are providing a service, you have to be filling a felt need. You must know what your competition is doing. You must also know what value you add. You may also consider what complementary products or services you may offer.

Mind the company you keep. Know what messages you are receiving from your peers, potential customers, family, and other stakeholders. Judge the value of the influences by whether or not they challenge you to be better. It does not matter how they present challenges, it only matters that you are better because of the challenge. Know that often, others exaggerate the difficulty of a task in order to build their own ego. Easy task does not necessarily mean that the task is not a risk.

Know the goals you have in mind. Define success for you. Rarely is success as simple as “being comfortable,” but just as rare is success as grandiose as selling 100,000 units. You often ask yourself, “What do I need to be comfortable?” Comfort most likely has more to do with relationship than the risk we are discussing. Modest material goals typically include a house, a car, loans paid, money in the bank. Success for you then, is the figure it takes to secure those materials. Risk is expecting those materials to result from your work. Investment is to leverage those materials—that comfort—to build sustainable success.

Invest Action not Anxiety

Anxiety is an unsustainable response to stress. Anxiety can exacerbate a number of physical ailments—even prolonging the natural healing process. I talked with a 21 year old who expressed some anxiety about the speed at which she was expected to grow up. She spoke of her perception that others were more adult than her. She saw professionals that knew more than her. She and you have something in common. You grieve the loss of youth, that feeling that you are not ultimately responsible. Someone else pays the bills. Someone else completes the applications. That time is no more. You are also frustrated that others seem to have what you do not yet have: a confidence, intentionality, and purpose. You hesitate unsure whether you can compete. At this point, your fear is in the place where competence should reside. Your hesitance is simply a lack of knowledge. First step: get the knowledge you need in order to do what you are gifted to do. Feed your gift. You can learn from those around you that appear to be more advanced. Lesson 1: Do you. Do not seek to replicate me. Lesson 2: the act of overcoming fear looks like courage to everyone watching. It is not true that I am more advanced. I simply have more practice standing against my fears. Practice standing against yours.

Act. Focus on productive relationships that support your activity rather than feed your anxiety. Often, you are your most vocal source of anxiety. You have so much to do. That is what you tell yourself. I challenge you to test everything--even your messages to yourself. Set a number for the things you must accomplish. Make a list of the things you have to do. It is often not as dire as you first insist. Some items are not due until next week or next month. Small contributions over time will result in task completion. The list is often not as long as your level of anxiety would suggest. Rather than continually stating that you are busy, become busy. Become active.

It is important that you begin to see time as an opportunity to build something substantial. Time, like other supposed enemies, has utility. Order your action. Set time deadlines for yourself. Do the hard things first. Do the simples things next. It is not cheating to do the things that you like and get them done even out of order. Draft out long projects in advance of the due date. Stop. Reflect after a day or two. Then, finish them. In the face of action, fear gives way to confidence.

It is true that you cannot be him. You cannot look like her. His talents are not yours. Her gift is not yours. At this moment, she may be "smarter" than you. Attempting to deny these truths will only result in frustration. Faking it will not lead to making it. Be you…the best you that you know. And, seek to learn more about you and your expertise. You do not have to know everything. You are only responsible for your expertise.

Invest Planning not Worry

Contrary to the belief of some, worry is not a necessary condition of maturity. You can retain the expectant nature of youth—the utopia of perfection without the problems. Maturity means that you now have the power to create the conditions for that utopian ideal to become reality. Rather than worrying about the seemingly inevitable challenges that you may come up against, plan for them. Take ownership. Take control. A well-thought out plan will embrace all the “worries” that can be conceived. The plan will also allow for unforeseen problems by including a measure of flexibility.

Relationships that feed you and those that offer real potential problems are both important in developing a good plan. Do not just listen to those that you love and respect. Fearfulness and mistrust keep potentially beneficial relationships from blossoming. Consider the value of inner circles of influence and other circles of access.

Circles of influence guide you with support and challenge. They extend your internal dialogue and question you. These inner circles have access to hurt you at times, but the pruning results in your growth. Count on these relationships to be consistent reflections on your plan.

Circles of access are those relationships that represent connections to markets and other circles. These relationships are not as close, but their purpose is clear. Do not consider them as “family” though they may use those terms. Circles of access exist for your utilization. Factor the ebb and flow cycle of these relationships into your plan.

Learn from the experience of others. Notice what they did wrong that caused them to think ill of your attempt. A good plan includes attention to the usefulness of failure in the short term. Unforeseen things happen, but live within the reality that hard work pays off. You could be wrong. The virtue in being wrong is in the learning, to be able to use failure in the short term to ensure sustainable success in the long term.

Investment: Paths to Certainty

If you knew that paying five dollars now would ensure twenty dollars next week, you would most likely excitedly hand over the five dollars. But, your currency is not just money. If you knew that an investment of two hours per week would result in residual income for you and your family, you would most likely be motivated to find that time in your week.

Each choice you are faced with involves investment and return. A farmer would say sowing and reaping. Whatever seeds you plant, you can expect to grow into plants. If you plant fear, suspicions, and worry, expect to grow fearfulness, mistrust, and anxiety. If you plant thoughtfulness, actions, and risk, expect to grow structure, results, and reward. The effects of sowing and reaping in your life are both physical and psychological. Relationships are affected by what you sow, and the reaping determines your reality.

• Invest Planning not Worry 
• Invest Action not Anxiety 
• Invest Risk not Self-Protection 
• Invest Engagement not Stress 
• Invest Positive Competition not Negative Competition

Your Being Needs

Self-actualization enables you to reason and feel more abstract conceptions such as morality and creativity. Self-transcendence enables you to construct a more collective vision and realize that your individual potential expands exponentially with each like-minded person who joins toward your common cause.

At each level of Maslow’s hierarchy, you are charged with actualizing the motivation to be your best self. The higher the level, the more your expression of actualization requires the ability to focus on relationships. Higher levels require you to see beyond yourself and your perceived deficits to celebrate your contribution and combine it with my contribution.

Maslow conducted a biographical analysis of people he felt were self-actualizers. He uncovered a number of traits that fit these individuals. As you look through the list of traits, you quickly realize that adherence to these traits would mean a constant state of self-development. At first glance, you may see this constant development as chaotic. But, remember that the deficit needs have all been secured. The development “chaos” is opportunity to identify the fake, solve problems and inconsistencies, support responsible actions, enjoy solitude, rely on self, resist enculturation, value diversity, genuinely engage others, deepen relationships, laugh at yourself, accept yourself, be yourself, wonder and explore, create, see yourself as a piece of a larger puzzle.

Deficits may be keeping you from being your best  right now. You may be stressed by financial pressures, fear of physical danger, relationship pain, low confidence or low respect. Let us deal with the deception that keeps you in deficit thinking even when you are, by my objective assessment, ready for self-actualization.

The deception of redirection is your focus on role stability as the foundation of success rather than role development. You interpret the natural uncertainty and consistent newness of self-actualization as an indication that you have not arrived at a point of stability. Let us work through your miseducation and fears toward a new understanding of risk as the foundation of your success. Not gambling but investment.

Your Deficits Needs

Abraham Maslow created what he called a hierarchy of needs in 1943. The hierarchy orders what humans need to lead productive lives. From another perspective, it lists the prerequisites for self-transcendence. In Maslow’s hierarchy, stable physiological needs enable safety and security. Safety enables love and belonging. Love enables esteem. Esteem enables self-actualization. Self-actualization enables self-transcendence.
•Self-Transcendence: Collaborate in new ways
•Self-Actualization: Create new knowledge
•Esteem: Find Agency in the Knowing
•Love: Find Comfort in the Knowing
•Safety: Touch and Know for Certain
•Physiological: Eat, Sleep, Excrete

Physiology, Safety, Love and Esteem are “deficit needs.” Deficit needs must be addressed and fulfilled before you can experience the “being needs” of self-actualization and self-transcendence. Physiology places importance on physical health and the proper function of the body. Safety and security explores the certainty with which you approach the world. Love and belonging moves beyond the simple physical and mental operations to the meaning and relationships you derive from interactions with others. Esteem extends the concepts of certainty and meaning allowing you to formulate self-confidence and the ability to team together with others.

You require therapeutic intervention, discipline, and a great deal of introspection in order to overcome the trauma, disappointments, and longing that characterizes your deficit. But, you will be unable to benefit from any interventions until you are free. Freedom is not just to count yourself as deserving of something better or different as Eve did in the story. Freedom is to recognize the power of working with others to actualize you. Stop worrying about whether you belong and whether others will accept you. Stop worrying about what others want. What you have is yours to offer. The potential benefit of that sharing is in the relationship—what you have added to what I bring.

Your potential productivity is beyond the consideration of your deficit. If you had to do this alone, it would make sense to be preoccupied with your deficit. But, a focus on collaboration means that you do not have to have all the answers, all the gifts, and have it all together.

Deceptions Case Study: 1 of 3

A story is told in an ancient text about a god who created the first humans. The creator named the man Adam. The creator named the women Eve. Some believe that the god created these beings with the same capacity as he held—to create. The creator placed Adam and Eve in a lush garden and instructed the man and woman that they were free to eat of every tree except one.

One day, Eve was walking near the forbidden tree. A voice from the tree engaged her. The voice asked, “The god told you that you could not eat from every tree?” And there, right there, he had her redirected. The deception was a subtle confusion. The creator was not oppressing Adam and Eve with his first instructions. The creator was freeing them. He did not begin with “you cannot.” He began with “you are free.” The issue under investigation was not the monotony of the menu and the prohibition. The important issue was how the prescribed menu freed Adam and Eve to focus on their relationship rather than worrying about food, shelter, and belonging.

This story of redirection is a cautionary tale for you. It is now time to focus on what you CAN do rather than being redirected to dwell on what you CANNOT do. When I come to you looking to collaborate, I am not interested in what you have not learned or are incapable of. I first want to know how you are able to partner with me—what you can add to our partnership. The sooner you recognize the gifts you have, the sooner you can begin to feed those gifts. Eve should have been using the food she had to fuel higher developmental needs. You should be confident with what you now know and have capacity to do. Now focus on higher developmental needs. Let us connect in partnership.

Introduction: 3 of 3

Rationalization: Learning Without Development


Rationalization refers to your tendency to explain negatively reinforcing outcomes. Rather than examining both your beliefs about a situation and the behaviors involved, rationalization supports a possible change in behavior without any question of the underlying logic of the behavior and without any question of the social role you have defined for yourself. In many cases, rationalization functions to delay changes in your behavior.

I understand that your powers of reason are well-practiced. In fact, I recognize it as an indication of your potential for greatness. You must entertain all options, though, including the option that the depth of your error extends beyond the current choice and outcome. Your error is in your core definition of your social role. In other words, it is not just the “what you know” that you have opportunity to inform, it is also the “who are you” that needs to be redefined. It is a questioning of thoughts and feelings, knowledge and attitudes, learning and self-development.

I understand that this questioning is often difficult because the patterns of rationalization you employ have been passed down to you by people that you respect and revere: parents, pastors, mentors, and other loved ones. All knowledge must support the search for new knowledge and the potential for change (cognitive flexibility), or it is dogma and does not fit the definition of self-development. Once-for-all knowledge traps you in a mental prison and a developmental rut.

Introduction: 2 of 3

Counterfeiting: Defining Your Community


Counterfeiting refers to the mis-classification of your experiences. More than a mask you put on to deceive the world around you, counterfeiting is deception of yourself. You begin to define peak experiences in terms that lack the power and enduring quality of the genuine peak experience. You train yourself to be contented with an inferior quality of life that, in time, ceases to motivate you. Worse yet, I gain no motivation from your experience. You accept mediocrity as excellence. Depth of insight, genuineness of relationship, clarity of role is judged by how well it fits with your current understanding rather than the height of standard it calls you to obtain.

You begin to mistake counterfeited behavior as acceptable. You begin to display counterfeit behaviors because they look and feel positively reinforcing. But, often the short duration of your reinforcement and the lack of sustainability reveal that, in the long run, the behavior and relationships created on the basis of the counterfeit do not result in achievement of your goals.

The key is to genuine interaction is to risk what you have come to protect, your feelings, and to speak your truth without sparing the feelings of others. The mechanism is to live within the seeming contradiction of valuing others and their opinions and living as a captain, decisive. Knowing the difference between counterfeit and the genuine is to cultivate diverse sources of information. The potential harm of being wrong decreases with the amount of knowledge considered in the deliberation of a decision. And, in the end, the choice is yours to make and to live with…and to celebrate. No matter the outcome, you acted genuinely allowing me to make my decision in an atmosphere of genuineness.

Introduction 1 of 3

Redirection: Defining Your Role


Redirection enables what psychologists call fixed action patterns. Fixed action patterns are better known as habits. Some of the habits you practice inhibit your continued learning and self-development. These habits are especially damaging when they are prescribed by institutional bylaws, doctrines, or creeds, which do not change easily. Redirection reinforces your habits while obscuring the reality that your desired future is not being achieved. You begin to see the pattern as productive because you can count on it—not for future success, but for present stability.

Correcting redirection as a protectionist instinct begins with attention to the power and potential of your gifts—to match your view of yourself with a definition of your future success. Defining your future success requires that you take responsibility for your future. You must stop giving in to the temptation to lean on institutions or stable patterns that obscure the fact that you are no closer to your goals than when you began the habit. Risk is the goal, not suffering. Your sweat and sacrifice must yield results.

At its core, redirection is a choice of worldview, specifically perception of the future. At its worse, the question of success is defined as a question of comfort and stability—a definition that does not motivate changes, and therefore, ensures failure. Redirection encapsulates a number of choices you must face in perception of your future and definition of your social role including: to invest or to buy, to energize or to drain energy, to lead or to manage, to captain or to navigate.

Introducing Redirection, Counterfeiting, and Rationalization

Beyond Behaviorist Learning


More than a simple function of automatic and conditioned responses, human behavior is steeped in how you define your role in the world and how you interact with your community. That is, you behave in ways that fit with the way in which you see yourself. You update this view of self in response to interactions with other people. Change in response to interactions or recognized fallacies in your worldview or inconsistencies in your behavior can be productive as you are reflective and open to new information. Inhibiting this productivity is the fact that humans are more comfortable with stable views of the world. The preference for stability may lead to limits in the process of role redefinition and limits in the variety of interactions experienced. When new information is limited in this way you can maintain a stable, reassuring view of yourself and the world around you.

A constant state of chaos is not advisable. As well, considering a change in belief or behavior is no obligation to change. But, when you find that your sense of self and your behaviors are inconsistent, it may be time to map the inconsistency and consider change. What typically occurs though is a redoubling of our protectionist instincts. Redirection, counterfeiting, and rationalization are comfortable processes we use to regain equilibrium without considering change.

Great Delusion Masking Great Power

The challenge of great delusion, deception, is to corrupt each of these choices by creating safe havens. Safe havens, in this context, are social environments that attend to your presenting need for information with a calming, safe, reaffirming worldview. Through safe havens, you can feel validated in your previous knowledge, confident that you have learned. You exhibit no negatively reinforcing behaviors, and the choice was yours autonomously.

The problem is that you did not lose anything. You participated in a closed-system loop. Input your worldview. Output your worldview. By definition, if you experienced stress in the context of a worldview you held, that worldview cannot be reaffirmed. It must be updated. This updating of your worldview can be termed development. Development requires a loosening of your structured worldview. Development is the process of redefining your role in the context of the world that you perceive. Wisdom is the result of reflective, open-system determination of the best way to use knowledge. Wisdom requires you to see the world in a new way and redefining your place within it.

Simple behaviorism (to be distinguished from radical behaviorism or learning theory, which incorporate cognitive realms) views the process of social role definition as natural process of automatic and conditioned responses. Much like simple learning without development, behaviorism proffers that the response to stress is an attempt to return to equilibrium and low-stress. You have the capacity, as a human animal, to exercise autonomy within a social context. That is, learning can be combined with self-development as an experience beyond the search for reduced stress—to build a view of the world that is fluid and a power within yourself to define a specific role in creating the world around you.

The Semantics of Deception

Learning, Development & the Wisdom of Reason

That feeling that your beliefs contain some logical fallacies is called dissonance. Dissonance precipitates action. Learning can be defined as you attempt to handle feelings of dissonance. Self-development is the result of utilizing learning to redefine your role and increase your information by quantity and sources. You can learn without developing, but you cannot develop without learning.

You certainly have been faced with situations that cause stress. When this stress causes you to question beliefs about yourself and your values it is called dissonance. In dissonant situations, you seek to find more information about the stressor in order to return to your previous, lower stress state. Learning is a way to deal with dissonance. In this way, learning is defined as knowledge acquisition to alleviate anxiety or stress.

This may be why people think that suffering is a way to learn valuable life lessons. The stress of suffering creates opportunity and motivation for learning. Yet, true learning results in behavior change through a process of conditioning. True learning is characterized by autonomy, license, and tangible products. Two issues present here: 1) stress does not always result in positively reinforcing behavior change; and, 2) Learning at its best is entered into willingly so that an awareness of the knowledge in context aligns with motivation to attend to transferrable skills.

Consonance is the opposite of dissonance. The desire for consonance motivates the creation of a structured worldview. That is, you learn to view the world and your place within it in ways that reduce your stress. But, often, this role definition causes stress in itself. Often, your carefully constructed understanding of the world is not sufficient to alleviate stress or explain the tragedies of the world. Because of this, you choose one of two basic options: learn more or refuse to believe evidence. If you chose to refuse to believe, you have to find some social environment in which to shield yourself from opposing views. If you choose to learn more, you have to find a social environment that will inform you.

The Challenge

Challenge: Your Identity is tied to the Fallacy


The challenge is that you do not believe me. You have been so brainwashed. The current fallacy is so much a part of how you construct your identity that my proposition threatens your core identity. As a matter of self-protection, you resist this new information. I present through this text an exercise in cognitive restructuring that offers a beginning to your reprogramming. I hope you will re-educate yourself and reclaim your power. Note that your resistance (be it anger, confusion, or uncertainty) is the residual inclination toward individual choice—the confirmation that you are not completely lost.

Recognize that this text is not a call to make me a king—to credit me with your re-education and reclamation. Granted, it is not about you, but it is your responsibility. It is your choice ultimately to live in the spirit of the power you were granted in the beginning. It is your responsibility to take your rightful place, to get the information first-hand, to stay in the race and endure. To succeed, you must be able to define roles for yourself, determine truth for yourself, and encourage yourself. This text will point out bread crumbs. It is up to you to choose the path. The single challenge of life is choice, summed up in 7 statements:

1. to manage my desire for purpose and order,

2. to take responsibility for my choices related to knowledge, role, and relationships,

3. to implement my personal choice in a way that encourages responsibility in others,

4. to become the leader of myself (a captain),

5. to inspire leadership in others (time-limited followers)

6. to live within the full potential of who I am, and

7. to achieve beyond what I have achieved.

Define. Learn. Endure. Succeed!

Explanation: The Fallacy in Psychological Terms


The previous post simplifies some complex human psychology and sociology. Basically, your dissonance with your social role has been rectified by assuming a group identity instead of working to create consonance with a clearly defined individual identity. This allows you the luxury of aggregate success--you are a success because you belong to a successful corporate body. But, this is not success grounded in living up to your full potential. It is ultimately hollow in the face of hardships because the individual parts are not strong enough to endure. If you are ever to really succeed, you must redefine your role, continue to gain information from multiple sources, and endure the disappointment of inconsistencies by actively testing the fit of new information for your success.

I submit that your responses to your dissonance—your attempt to regain balance and comfort—can take three forms: deception, distraction, or disillusionment. Each of the forms describes a state of mind, suggested by your environmental inputs, affecting choice behavior. Deception suggests that you do not have the authority to determine your role and make choices. Distraction keeps valuable information away from you or misinforms you so that your choices appear more limited than they are in reality. Disillusionment paints you into a corner of powerlessness and helplessness in which you remove yourself from considering the choices available.

Your single most important strength is your power to make a choice. Until now, your choices have lacked a defined role, have been misinformed, and have been made for speed and convenience rather than sustainability. It is now time to invest in the real you. Define your individual passion--your role. Learn and continued to seek information from diverse sources. Endure productively the process of time. Succeed!

The Mass Fallacy

Fallacy: the Function of Community is to Determine What is Truth


If you wanted to conquer the world, the method would be simple, yet brilliant: change the basic definitions of community. Utilize a behavioral intervention to perpetrate a mass hysteria with the goal of creating dissociative mental states as the norm. Utilize the need for homeostasis in each individual (and the penchant for laziness) and create institutions that force the balance of reason and emotion into unhealthy, irresponsible, poorly informed, yet comfortable choices. Seat the fallacy in institutions, because humans typically do not question the institution—the proverbial “they.” Create a sense and sensitivity to scarcity. Construct relationships as zero-sum propositions, in which each party must give an equal share to add up to one hundred percent.

Under the guise that “you will never be wrong,” convince a generation that faith is blind belief without question. Support that generation to teach a need to be right to their children. Define “right” as “truth,” “truth” as immutable, and immutability as strength of faith. Subtly, remove the greatest power from each individual: choice—the choice to challenge, the choice to question, and the choice to be great. Reduce a once empowering choice to a sophomoric question of in-group versus outsider—a question of a desire to belong. Since you all want to belong—we all want relationship—you do not care what the cost is. The institution has provided comfort that you can see. Others have conformed and prospered. You join with the others in our new blind faith, without question, with no request for reciprocity, and build the strength of our immutable truth. You know it is the truth—the ultimate level of our development potential—because it is not the “evil” you were participating in before.

The Revelation

Revelation: It’s not about you, but it is your fault.


The meaning of life is not a simple answer to your individual existence, but it is a function of your choice to act responsibly. I know that my best self will only be achieved in concert with you being your best self. And therein lies the challenge to our collective vision of perfection. I am not fearful of those that challenge me. I am not perplexed by those that conspire against me. I am not deterred by those that stand in my way. I am concerned with you who, for whatever reason, have not practiced your gifts or developed your talents. Now, I stand ready with my part of our collective vision, and you are not ready with your contribution. And, to add insult, you stand almost proud to proclaim that you have no clue of your gift and talents—no knowledge of the context of the choice you are responsible for.

Once, it was my fault as well as yours. Let me first apologize to those who came prepared before me. I apologize. I let many of you down. But, I learned. I have been ready with my contribution at every opportunity. I have been called arrogant, conceited, know-it-all, and the like, but my detractors could not compete with the sound nature of my counsel or question my preparation. I have been cast out of some circles, and self-exited from others. But, I have become unique, some may say peculiar. I now call to you to leave the comfort of conformity and renew your mind.

My call to you comes with an explanation. I am certain that it will be difficult to challenge your prevailing beliefs about your ability to influence the way the world works. I cannot promise that you will, in fact, achieve nirvana. But, I can with certainty educate you to define your role in society, offer a relationship based on reciprocity, and walk with you confidently to access new markets. To achieve these goals, we first must address your waste of mental energies. I chose the cognitive restructuring method in order to model for you how the very definitions you stand with today must give way to a vocabulary of a certain successful future.

Rather than focus on personifications of an enemy such as a Satan, or your boss, or the parent who failed you, this discourse refocuses the analysis on you. Admittedly, it is a more abstract proposition, but the barrier, the waste of energy itself is the enemy. We will thoroughly identify your dependence on the enemy for your own subsistence. Then, we will offer an alternative—a newly defined role, an approach to lifelong learning from diverse sources, and a system of continued productivity.

Next time I need you and your contribution. I would like for you to be ready. The deceptions, distractions, and disillusionment that keep you inactive and irresponsive to my invitation must give way to productive action toward our collective vision of perfection. My success is mine to achieve. My perfection depends on you.