Deceptions Case Study 3 of 3

The ancient text continues the story of Eve and the serpent. Eve’s deception could not be completed without a lie. Yet, the lie was not told by the serpent in the story. The lie was formulated in the perception Eve had of her opportunity to become to self-actualize. In the story, Eve, just after explaining what directions she was given, studied the tree. She evaluated the fruit. In her estimation, it was appetizing and attractive. When Eve began to rationalize, she was no doubt aware of the command given to her husband by the god. “Do not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil,” was the command. The answer to the serpent’s directive to eat was an emphatic, “No!” As the conversation and Eve’s rationalization continued, the question was no longer, “Should I eat from this tree?” The question became a statement, “Becoming wise is a righteous pursuit.” She further reasoned, “A god who would keep us from being self-actualized is himself wrong. That means that anything the god commands cannot be trusted.”

The lesson to be learned from this story is well below the surface of the supposed wrong choice. Right and wrong are too dualistic to provide important lessons. Consider determining whether your actions are sustainable or unsustainable.

In the story, reason is sustainable. Perception is sustainable. It may even be sustainable to question the directives of the community that you grew up in. The deception here is the rationalization that wisdom can be gained absent from community. The need for immediate results, the desire to demonstrate independence, the disregard for process, all stem from an innate human reality. We each want to trust and to be sure that our trust is cherished.

Often, when faced with the option to trust others, your first instinct is to protect yourself. A decision to trust may result in pain, but it may also result in a success beyond what was possible for you alone. How can you distinguish between reason rooted in community and rationalization rooted in a protectionist trust only of yourself?

Successful Counterfeit: Revelrous

Successful refers to a characteristic experience of achievement. Maslow described this character as “peak experiences.” He talked about individuals who were able to seize opportunities to see themselves as small pieces of a larger puzzle. To Maslow’s observations, I add the idea of small successes in the context of self-motivation.

Peak experiences are not always the completion of a goal. Small successes admonish you to look for the consistent and sustainable path. Success is not only in the destination, it is in the day-to-day approach toward goals.

The counterfeit of successful is revelrous—a life characterized by revelry. As a revelrous individual, you are characterized by highs and lows that threaten your consistency and sap your motivation. When you complete a task, you consider it an end, and celebrate disregarding the road still ahead. When you fail at a task, you fall into a funk, questioning the path you began.

People often see you as a rollercoaster of emotion. Because you put neither achievements nor failures in the context of a larger puzzle, you resort to the extreme reactions of what you think others expect. Your individual relationships are superficial because you are incapable of sharing your fit with others. The group subjugates you to either being the cheerleader or the voice of realism. Neither role is crucial to the team.

To be truly successful, you will see your gifts in the context of the abilities of others and the opportunities of the environment. As a successful individual, you realize that small successes build toward larger successes. This awareness keeps you internally encouraged and building. An awareness of the road ahead tempers your enthusiasm in order to stoke your endurance toward the completion of more challenging goals.

Creative Counterfeit: Indecisive

Creative is a character that brings together form and art to create. Maslow also used the term creative. Creative characters, according to Maslow, were inventive and original. I add an emphasis on the process of creativity to the definition. Creative characters combine a search for knowledge with a respect for the empowerment of self-reflection.

The counterfeit of creative is indecisive. As an indecisive individual, you rely on external pressures or uncertainty to determine projects or goals. It is indecisive because you do not take responsibility for the process. You rationalize that if you wait until the last minute, you always have an excuse for why the product is not perfect. This also makes it impossible for you to work with others.

You want others to see you as original, but you take your cues from the pressure rather than from a careful meditation on form and art. You are often heard to say, “I put that together at the last minute” or “I do my best work under pressure.” This is only half true. You do perform at the last minute, but you fail to take the time to consider the quality of the work that could have been created over a longer period of time.

To be truly creative you will build each product as an exercise in knowledge gathering and self-reflection. Rather than last minute excuses, you will stand behind the work that you produce. You will challenge yourself to learn more about the craft and the methods of your expertise. You will reflect on what you have learned and place it in the context of who you are and the contribution that you would like to make to the world around you.

Inspired Counterfeit: Punctilious

Inspired is a character that explores origins, present realities, and potential futures. Maslow used the phrase “freshness of appreciation” to describe this character. He explained that this character possessed the ability to see things (even small things) with a sense of wonder. I add that this sense of wonder motivates action and offsets fear.

The counterfeit of inspired is punctilious. As a punctilious character, you attend to the form requirements of behavior without an intrinsic connection to people. Your individual relationships are often awkward to onlookers with inappropriate intimacy for the relationship at hand. In the group, you often trade in humor and feigned concern in an attempt to show yourself to be caring as opposed to cold and singularly focused on the set agenda.

You want people to see you as interested in them and engaged. On closer inspection, you are just going through the motions of polite interaction. You interest does not extend beyond the formalities of human contact. Your focus is the agenda you adopted in order to maintain your safety in the presence of multiple points of view. You cannot take the time to consider the value of the other’s contribution. Exploring beyond your agenda is to risk too much.

To be truly inspired is to recognize the value of diverse contributions and the opportunity represented by collaboration. Inspiration is not only the reality that you are not alone. It is the realization that the process of human interaction yields exponential returns. The commonalities and differences found between us lessen the load and create opportunities that were impossible for you to conceive of by yourself. The more people we invite to the table, the more possibilities avail themselves…if you engage.

Authentic Counterfeit: Arrogant

Authentic is characterized by a well-defined identity and role in environment. Maslow termed this spontaneity and simplicity. He explained that this character preferred being themselves rather than being pretentious. I clarify this language to place it squarely in the context of research on identity formation and social role definition.

The counterfeit of authentic is arrogant. As an arrogant individual, you lack a sense of self in the context of others. You seek to define yourself as separate from others. In this way, you do not have to evaluate the ethics or congruence of walking the talk. You self-protect in the group by thinking yourself smarter than the others. Rather than seeing this as an opportunity to share your knowledge, you decide that only you can understand.

You want people to see you as self-confident. But, we soon realize that you have little awareness of others. Your contribution is not to the group. It is simply an attempt to reject your feelings of loneliness. You often say, “I could explain it, but they will not understand.” Rather than recognizing your deficit in communication, you adopt the view that you are superior and therefore exempt from any collective social definition of self.

To be truly authentic, you embrace both your strengths and your weaknesses. You realize that who you are is only partly defined by what you know and who you know. Your social role is also important. Social role is what you contribute to the group. Authenticity is commitment to the requirements of your contribution and consistent participation in the discourse.

Tolerant Counterfeit: Superficial

Tolerant is a character marked by acceptance of self and others just as Maslow communicated. To this, I add that this character allows you to change your definition of self and grow over time. This character is also marked by the ability to risk. Being wrong or unpopular is an acceptable risk if it brings others into the interaction.

The counterfeit of tolerant is superficial. As a superficial character, you lack the engagement that enables true analysis of yourself and objective evaluation of others. You miss opportunities to challenge yourself to be better. You allow others to be mediocre rather than point out failures because blindness to their failure enables blindness to your own ineptitude.

You think that to be totally accepting or to be intolerant are the only choices. You are often heard saying, “To each his own,” or “As long as it doesn’t affect me.” You miss opportunities to grow yourself and participate in the growth of others because you never risk being wrong—on the unpopular side of what is “polite” or “considerate.”

To be truly tolerant, you engage. Your interaction is less about determining right and wrong, and more about supporting the idea that growth and change is possible. Discussions of growth and change, when first applied to you, can yield new insights into how we all might work together toward success. Just because you believed yourself to be something last year, does not mean that new information cannot inform a new belief this year. You apply this allowance to yourself, and risk that others will not agree.

Amicable Counterfeit: Patronizing

Amicable describes a character with a sense of humor that engages others. Maslow termed this sense of humor as “unhostile.” He sought to describe a character that prefers to joke at his expense rather than embarrassing others. I only simplify Maslow’s phrase to one word: amicable.

The counterfeit of amicable is patronizing. As a patronizing individual, you get the mechanics of self-effacing, but you always seek to be the center of attention—as if to be lauded for your humility. Your attempts at humor begin with jokes about yourself, but end with backhanded compliments directed at others. In groups, you promote your status as the alpha leader with condescension that diminishes the contributions of others while appearing to encourage them. You are fond of saying, “That’s not your strong suit. You should do this instead.”

It is often obvious that you are trying to be funny. Your attempts are flawed because your humor is not participatory. Your intention is to appear down-to-earth and approachable, but interactions often end with the revelation of your character as insecure and condescending.

To be truly amicable is to be able to laugh at yourself, to find humor in the human condition. Your humor invites others to participate and take themselves less seriously. You have the ability to support humor in humorous instances rather than forcing humor into serious conversations. Individuals leave your presence with a strong sense of the humor in life rather than a sense of you as the comedian.