Your miseducation through faulty, imperfect examples means that you may misinterpret and misapply certain concepts highlighted as characteristics of self-actualizers. Because you see the end results of hard work and growth choices, you mistake the appearance of success for real success. This mistake is perpetuated through imperfect examples so much so that you now define success by appearance rather than substance. These counterfeits extend to all the characteristics of self-actualizers. In an attempt to re-educate you, I have translated Maslow’s original list (1970, pp. 153-172) to reflect more contemporary language as follows: Reality-centered, Problem-centered, Process-centered, Private, Autonomous, Unique, Culturally Competent, Compassionate, Intimate, Amicable, Tolerant, Authentic, Inspired, Creative, and Successful. Let us discuss the counterfeits that may perpetuate your deception.
The deception detailed in this section is termed “counterfeiting.” Counterfeits are not opposites of the character traits of self-actualizers. They are words that have become synonymous with the character traits, but whose practice outside of the values of individual responsibility and promotion of community yield unsustainable results. Let us explore each characteristic and its counterfeit.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Deceptions Case Study: 2 of 3
The ancient text continues the story of Eve and the Serpent. Eve has been redirected from seeing her existence as freedom toward perceiving her choices to be limited. Eve stands explaining what the god had instructed her and Adam, “If we do not follow these instructions, we will die.” The serpent says to Eve in effect, “You will not die. You will be free.” The serpent did not lie to her. He told her a truth that matched with her current understanding of the question at hand. Eve was already in an erroneous thought pattern, seeking a freedom she already possessed. Her current thought pattern meant that she would discount the genuine article of freedom even as she was presented with it. Eve could no longer distinguish between freedom and bondage. The instructions given by the god ensured a life of freedom. Eve was already experiencing its death.
You naturally want to be self-actualized. According to Maslow (1993), the self-actualized individual exhibits concentration, growth choice, self-awareness, honesty, judgment, self-development, peak experiences, and lack of ego defenses (1993, the Farther Reaches of Human Nature). Even if you have learned to exhibit the above toward role development and investment, a central question remains. Do you know genuine freedom when you experience it?
You naturally want to be self-actualized. According to Maslow (1993), the self-actualized individual exhibits concentration, growth choice, self-awareness, honesty, judgment, self-development, peak experiences, and lack of ego defenses (1993, the Farther Reaches of Human Nature). Even if you have learned to exhibit the above toward role development and investment, a central question remains. Do you know genuine freedom when you experience it?
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Invest Positive Competition not Negative Competition
From an early age, you have always wanted to win. Your life experiences have changed your expectations and your habits toward winning. But, your default response to competition has stayed the same. You often speak about “proving her wrong.” You are happy to rebut, “He does not know me. I am capable of much more.”
I am asking you to change your definition of winning. Winning is bringing out the best in others. The best way to do that is to be your best, every moment, every task. You must also change your approach to competition. You are not competing in order to have what I have or to be like her. You are competing in order to bring out the best in you, me, and her. Competition, used wisely, is a complement to internal motivation. The result is your second wind—the ability to achieve beyond what you could do alone.
Definitions of winning and competition are not the most important change I want you to make. Most importantly, I want you to recapture the expectation that you will win. Disappointments and obstacles have contributed to a personality of individualism, habits of isolation, and motivation steeped in negative competition. You have a choice. Consider that collective activities do exist, interactions can be supportive, and competition can be positive.
Collective activities are tasks that you can share with others. You have been told that true expertise knows without any prompting. This is only partly true. Expertise knows, but the development of expertise is often a function of like-minded people collectively sharing ideas and tasks. It is in the brainstorming and the doing that new methods take shape.
Vygotsky suggested that we become ourselves through others. This is true in your traditional supportive interactions, but also in your antagonistic relationships. The key observation is your reaction to the other. Others can motivate you to prove them, but the interaction may also provide an important reminder to pause and consider your actions, thoughts, and meaning making.
Positive competition is born out of the reality experienced when you are at your best. Collaboration is not just working together on a specific shared goal. It is sharing a goal. The enemy you and your foes have in common is failure. See that the competition that you may have resented is nothing more than an expression of respect. The others who you have assessed to be preoccupied with you are really targeting their own fears No competitor worries about the opposition that has no momentum. As you move from potential to momentum, you will realize greater competition. Continue with purpose and the knowledge that each stride you take encourages the other. Each advance of the other signals motivation to you. Undergirding the competition is the certainty of reward. No other can wrest your trophy. Because of your disappointments and obstacles, you have fashioned an expertise that is uniquely yours. The product you will distribute, if it is truly your product, cannot be duplicated by any other.
I am asking you to change your definition of winning. Winning is bringing out the best in others. The best way to do that is to be your best, every moment, every task. You must also change your approach to competition. You are not competing in order to have what I have or to be like her. You are competing in order to bring out the best in you, me, and her. Competition, used wisely, is a complement to internal motivation. The result is your second wind—the ability to achieve beyond what you could do alone.
Definitions of winning and competition are not the most important change I want you to make. Most importantly, I want you to recapture the expectation that you will win. Disappointments and obstacles have contributed to a personality of individualism, habits of isolation, and motivation steeped in negative competition. You have a choice. Consider that collective activities do exist, interactions can be supportive, and competition can be positive.
Collective activities are tasks that you can share with others. You have been told that true expertise knows without any prompting. This is only partly true. Expertise knows, but the development of expertise is often a function of like-minded people collectively sharing ideas and tasks. It is in the brainstorming and the doing that new methods take shape.
Vygotsky suggested that we become ourselves through others. This is true in your traditional supportive interactions, but also in your antagonistic relationships. The key observation is your reaction to the other. Others can motivate you to prove them, but the interaction may also provide an important reminder to pause and consider your actions, thoughts, and meaning making.
Positive competition is born out of the reality experienced when you are at your best. Collaboration is not just working together on a specific shared goal. It is sharing a goal. The enemy you and your foes have in common is failure. See that the competition that you may have resented is nothing more than an expression of respect. The others who you have assessed to be preoccupied with you are really targeting their own fears No competitor worries about the opposition that has no momentum. As you move from potential to momentum, you will realize greater competition. Continue with purpose and the knowledge that each stride you take encourages the other. Each advance of the other signals motivation to you. Undergirding the competition is the certainty of reward. No other can wrest your trophy. Because of your disappointments and obstacles, you have fashioned an expertise that is uniquely yours. The product you will distribute, if it is truly your product, cannot be duplicated by any other.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Invest Engagement not Stress
Let me clear up a misconception for you. Stress is not a noun. It is a verb. People, situations, deadlines, challenges are all stressors, but stress is what you do when faced with a stressor. Stress is your reaction. Through your actions in response to stressors you have often said, “I’m going to stress.” But, what will you do next time? “I’ll stress then too.” But, we need to do something. “Well, I’m stressing!”
When you are faced with obstacles, uncertainty, or pressures, your body naturally responds. If the stressor is intense enough, adrenaline starts to flow. This hormone may give you the sensation of nervousness offering the classic fight or flight option. When your and my success is on the line, I say engage. Rather than run from the challenge, engage in the new experience. Collect yourself. Learn about the challenge. Connect with your support system. Set your goals. This outline is the process of engagement.
The biological reaction you display in response to stressors gives you the ability to do things both physically and mentally that may have been difficult without it. Your endurance is heightened. Your mental acuity increases. You may have only experienced this in response to tight deadlines. You have come to believe that it is the pressure that makes you great. You say, “I do my best work under pressure.” Foolishness! If you can do good work at the last minute, imagine the great work you can do with more time. The outline for great work is simple: Collect yourself, Learn, Connect, and Set Goals.
Collect Yourself. The key is discipline—to engage that biological reaction on demand. You must see the outline for greatness and turn stressors into waypoints. This is collecting yourself. Bring your biological functions into submission to your will.
Learn. Gather the information you need in order to understand the work. Talk to others about their experience with similar challenges. Review what approaches make sense to you.
Connect. The single most predictive characteristic of success is support. Build a system of support that fits for the work at hand. Always rely on your mentor. Also, engage content experts and consultants.
Set Goals. Now that you know what you are working with, list goals that are unique to you. Being realistic is important, but not as important as reflecting you in the work. Challenge yourself and recognize the power of building incrementally toward larger goals. Plan in the context of the time you have and the eventual benefit expected.
When you are faced with obstacles, uncertainty, or pressures, your body naturally responds. If the stressor is intense enough, adrenaline starts to flow. This hormone may give you the sensation of nervousness offering the classic fight or flight option. When your and my success is on the line, I say engage. Rather than run from the challenge, engage in the new experience. Collect yourself. Learn about the challenge. Connect with your support system. Set your goals. This outline is the process of engagement.
The biological reaction you display in response to stressors gives you the ability to do things both physically and mentally that may have been difficult without it. Your endurance is heightened. Your mental acuity increases. You may have only experienced this in response to tight deadlines. You have come to believe that it is the pressure that makes you great. You say, “I do my best work under pressure.” Foolishness! If you can do good work at the last minute, imagine the great work you can do with more time. The outline for great work is simple: Collect yourself, Learn, Connect, and Set Goals.
Collect Yourself. The key is discipline—to engage that biological reaction on demand. You must see the outline for greatness and turn stressors into waypoints. This is collecting yourself. Bring your biological functions into submission to your will.
Learn. Gather the information you need in order to understand the work. Talk to others about their experience with similar challenges. Review what approaches make sense to you.
Connect. The single most predictive characteristic of success is support. Build a system of support that fits for the work at hand. Always rely on your mentor. Also, engage content experts and consultants.
Set Goals. Now that you know what you are working with, list goals that are unique to you. Being realistic is important, but not as important as reflecting you in the work. Challenge yourself and recognize the power of building incrementally toward larger goals. Plan in the context of the time you have and the eventual benefit expected.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Invest Risk not Self-Protection
Risk is not the opposite of self-protection. Risk is more precisely defined economically and socially as the expectation of reward. Work is required if you are to expect a reward. When I say to you, “Higher risk. Higher reward,” I am challenging you to work with purpose and expectation, not just blindly trusting in something you know nothing about. But, risk is related to self-protection, because your resistance to my challenge is based in your inability to see a reward resulting from your work. You believe it is better to be safe and unfulfilled rather than to risk. Let me be the first to enlighten you: Your inability to see a reward resulting from your work is an indication that you need more information. Investigate work that produces rewards. You set the limit and the definition of your success.
Risk begins with you. I am not asking you to push beyond what you can handle. I am asking you to push beyond what is comfortable and safe for you. Not to trust blindly, but to research the opportunities and create a plan of action. The right risk will be natural to you. It is your gift. Feed it with more information. Learn about it.
Know the odds. Inform yourself about the markets that you may explore. If you are selling goods, you need ready buyers. If you are providing a service, you have to be filling a felt need. You must know what your competition is doing. You must also know what value you add. You may also consider what complementary products or services you may offer.
Mind the company you keep. Know what messages you are receiving from your peers, potential customers, family, and other stakeholders. Judge the value of the influences by whether or not they challenge you to be better. It does not matter how they present challenges, it only matters that you are better because of the challenge. Know that often, others exaggerate the difficulty of a task in order to build their own ego. Easy task does not necessarily mean that the task is not a risk.
Know the goals you have in mind. Define success for you. Rarely is success as simple as “being comfortable,” but just as rare is success as grandiose as selling 100,000 units. You often ask yourself, “What do I need to be comfortable?” Comfort most likely has more to do with relationship than the risk we are discussing. Modest material goals typically include a house, a car, loans paid, money in the bank. Success for you then, is the figure it takes to secure those materials. Risk is expecting those materials to result from your work. Investment is to leverage those materials—that comfort—to build sustainable success.
Risk begins with you. I am not asking you to push beyond what you can handle. I am asking you to push beyond what is comfortable and safe for you. Not to trust blindly, but to research the opportunities and create a plan of action. The right risk will be natural to you. It is your gift. Feed it with more information. Learn about it.
Know the odds. Inform yourself about the markets that you may explore. If you are selling goods, you need ready buyers. If you are providing a service, you have to be filling a felt need. You must know what your competition is doing. You must also know what value you add. You may also consider what complementary products or services you may offer.
Mind the company you keep. Know what messages you are receiving from your peers, potential customers, family, and other stakeholders. Judge the value of the influences by whether or not they challenge you to be better. It does not matter how they present challenges, it only matters that you are better because of the challenge. Know that often, others exaggerate the difficulty of a task in order to build their own ego. Easy task does not necessarily mean that the task is not a risk.
Know the goals you have in mind. Define success for you. Rarely is success as simple as “being comfortable,” but just as rare is success as grandiose as selling 100,000 units. You often ask yourself, “What do I need to be comfortable?” Comfort most likely has more to do with relationship than the risk we are discussing. Modest material goals typically include a house, a car, loans paid, money in the bank. Success for you then, is the figure it takes to secure those materials. Risk is expecting those materials to result from your work. Investment is to leverage those materials—that comfort—to build sustainable success.
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